Uncharted Territory

Sitting in an unknown vehicle while the rain pours outside, the air-conditioning blowing in your face and you're too frozen in place to move. Dreams from the previous night chill you to the core because it was an unexpected turn of events. First, she's dreaming of the same untouchable guy for 3 nights in a row. Then, her past comes back to haunt her.

"Do not enter uncharted territory.... EVER!"

She's trying, but it's so hard...

Stupid boy

"You never know what you got till it's gone"
I'm really tired of waiting and dropping subtle hints. So what if they're a bit too subtle?? Trust me when I say I didn't plan on you appearing in my dreams 3 nights in a row.

STUPID BOY!!


Yeah, keep saying that Sam, but you know it ain't true! :P


Why do you have to be so charming? 

Beautiful, or beautiful disaster?

Time after time. Encounter after encounter. Nothing changes. Little hints that come and go..... and then a bomb hits. The 'bad influence' bomb. I believe in you, I always have. They didn't make up my mind, I made up my mind. But, did you hear what they said?

"He doesn't take his responsibilities seriously"

"He always fools around"

"I'm not the only one, they don't like him either"

"He makes bad choices"

I thought my mind had come up with your worst side already. I thought I solved the 'worse comes to worst'. I guess I haven't. The chance I was offering, I'm considering taking it back. But then I think, do I even deserve better than you? I've been told time and time again that I do. It's hard not knowing where I stand in all of this. Where you want me to stand. Where you're standing in the meantime. 

I've never seen the bad side of you. Not really. I saw the you that was kind, compassionate and patient. Caring, dedicated and strong. Loving, responsible and Godly. What are they seeing that I'm not? I want to see you. All of you. Because it's all or nothing. It's also all of me or nothing. 

Who am I to judge, right? Do you even see my faults though? Are you easily fooled by my strong facade every time we meet? Do you see the vulnerability? I know you see me as shy, willing and caring. That's not all I want you to see. 

In my mind, we could be something beautiful. Or maybe, just a beautiful disaster.

Once a week

He stood there, waiting... Waiting for what? When he finally sat down, it was the seat next to hers. Despite the voices behind her, calling him to sit with them, he did no such thing. Was it deliberate? A coincidence? Did she really have that power over him?

It's not very nice to have a girl make her own assumptions. Especially when he's sending so many mixed signals. She's so tired of the too-cool-to-express-feelings act he's putting on. At least, that's what she thinks he's doing. 

This may be new to him, not having the girl fall head-over-heels for him immediately. He has to try a different approach, or risk losing her to someone possibly more worthy of her whole life. Of her. 

She made a new year's resolution to take chances. After two years of love sobriety, she needed to try something new. But she's tired of waiting, and playing this unspoken game of her move, his move. 

Ps, I really wanna read this book. Anybody wanna get it for me? My birthday's in March :) Pretty please...

Disorganized

How is it that I haven't found the time to blog about anything even worth mentioning yet? What a bad start to my blog this year, huh? :/ This isn't what I had in mind, really. I was going to keep up a frequently updated blog. With my writings, and little interesting things that happen in my life. Like I did last year. But the holidays are no more, aren't they? 

Let's see what I've been up to.... I became the class monitor again this year, though all class monitors from last year already knew it was a no-brainer, knowing our oh-so-considerate classmates. It's stressful. And I'm trying my best to help out my new form teacher, seeing that she doesn't have much experience doing this. Not that I do, but I know the basics, and she is appreciative. That's all that matters. I'm also worried that I have no idea what to do to lead my PPR (Pandu Puteri Renjer) members this year. Girl scouts. You'd think the girls would be easy to control... EHH!! You thought wrong :P So there's something else to think about. This year is supposed to be about discipline too, and letting ourselves be known as a strong Uniform Body. Uh-huh, and I'm in charge :O

Most of all, and the thing I care most about now is CF. Meetings and camp. One of my top priorities, besides my family and of course, my time with God. I can't tell you exactly what I'm part of for CF right now, but let's just say, while it's an honor and a privilege to be given a chance to serve this way, I also always hope that i'm doing God justice with my work. It's not easy to say the least, to balance all of the above, but I know I can do it. Plus, I enjoy the work. Really, I do. 

I really wanted to post something about my now Form 1 little sister. It was amazing how well she's doing in this environment. Of course, she has our cousin to 'teman' her every recess, but it is really good to see her getting along so well. I promise to dedicate a post just for her soon ;) *I just need to find the time*

Another thing, and I know this may sound silly to some of you but I was thinking of joining my school's Nostalgia this year. It's my school's magazine department. It's a hectic job for some, but I was thinking about interviewing for the writing department in Nostalgia. It won't take up too much of my time, I hope, that's if I even get pass the interview :/ I really feel like trying out, and I'm gonna pray about it, of course. By God's grace, hopefully I can do what I love and maybe even learn something for my future. How to work super-duper hard is a lesson to learn for sure. 

Everything seems a little disorganized at the moment. Or maybe it's all in my head. My undone homework is on my mind too. Tuition homework included :P Also, though I'm still shocked by this myself, my beloved family and friends out there who read my blog frequently, I just want to say thank you. Every day I learn that more and more of you and opening this web page and it really just puts a smile on my face :) Even knowing there are unknown readers out there make me smile :) Ps, when I say I don't want you to spread the news of my blog anymore, I mean the total opposite. I really appreciate the time taken to visit a teenager's blog. Especially, a teenager like me. 

Ooh ooh! If there are really nice and supportive readers out there, maybe you could suggest which 2 freelance essays I could submit to the Nostalgia committee for my interview? If you've read some of my freelance essays that is. I won't be hurt if I get 0 comments again, cause I know for sure that there are people reading this. Some of you even comment about my blog to me in person. Which is definitely accepted by the way. I promise I'll be more creative on my next post. I really have to go now. Will be back to type more words soon. Goodnight :) 

Mommy, I don't want anymore nightmares, you hear? :/