Must he be perfect? Flawless? Of course not! But somehow, I just pictured him that way. I've always seen myself as a future housewife, with a good, faithful husband and a few children. Emphasis on the good, faithful husband;) There is no doubt that I have thought about who I'm going to marry someday. Sometimes, I even dream about my future husband in detail. Recently, he has appeared in my dreams almost every night.
Tall, dark and handsome. I didn't expect to dream up a cliche for a husband, but that is how he showed himself to me in my dreams. Hazel-colored eyes that were emphasized by a pair of double eyelids and long eyelashes every girl dreamt of having. A perfectly placed nose in the center of his face and a smile that would melt any girls' heart. Ears that were the perfect size, unhidden by a boyish haircut that made you want to mess up his unmoving dark brown locks.
"Honey! I'm home," my future husband would say as he walked through the door of our cottage-like house.
I could never believe how blessed I was to be married to such a masterpiece by God. Beautiful on the outside and even more so on the inside. With a sincere and willing heart, he would do anything if just for the sake of making someone smile. I would be by my husband's side one hundred percent, knowing what kind of man he was. Trusting him to make the difficult decisions for our family. I would have faith in him to know what was best for him and myself.
Endless conversations between my future husband and I. Even in silence, only comfort would be found between us. No awkward feelings whatsoever. Every night before bed, secrets and endearments would be exchanged. Even our arguments would be short, letting our love overshadow our disagreements. We would never forget every special moment spent together, from the time we first met, to the days when we grow old together.
Our marriage would be based on our faith, which we both must take seriously. Never leaving God out of our life together. That is exactly how we would raise our children. He would be a loving father, treating our children with respect and full adoration. He would not spoil them, but give them everything they needed, not wanted. At the same time, giving them all the love he has to give. I would watch my husband and children from a distance with pride, unable to hide the glow in my eyes and the grin on my face.
My future husband would hold me any time of day, whenever I needed him. Whether I had tears in my eyes or have just had a bad day. Wrapping my arms around him, my head would fit perfectly above his broad shoulders and against his firm neck. Forever breathing in the fresh male scent of him that would remind me, "This is my husband." He would be my rock, my shelter.
My imagination may run wild sometimes, especially when you ask me to picture my future husband. As you can see, I have done more than just picture him. I don't believe that he is just a dream that can never be found in reality. My future husband is out there, somewhere. I must have faith that I will find him someday, or maybe, just maybe, have him find me:)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
My latest assignment
When a teacher gives you the opportunity to do free writing, what would you choose to write about? Me? I got stuck. So guess what I did... I took one of teacher's suggestions from the whiteboard. She was listing down all the types of essays that could be written. Narrative, Descriptive, Factual, One-word titles, Argumentative... One of the examples she gave was 'My Future Husband/Wife'. It was under the category of descriptive. I have never, repeat never tried my hand at descriptive writing before, but I can tell you that AW(My anonymous writer) can most probably specialise in that category. I on the other hand am worried I won't be able to pull this off.
'MY FUTURE HUSBAND' What would you write if you were given this title? I already wrote one and a half pages of the essay thinking it was due today itself. Then teacher went and changed her mind. But I had already written so much, I am not about to start all over again. So, I decided to go with the flow. Use what I've already written and better that, and just finish it off with a hopefully perfect ending. Mom, help me!
I know this is an interesting title to write on for most people, especially me:) When I'm done, I will post it on my blog like I do all my other 'interesting' essays. Hopefully I can achieve a good grade for this one. 'My Dream', my previous essay, managed an A- with the word Interesting! written above it. Yay! I can't exactly expect more than that. Puan Nurliza never gives a grade higher than A- Sometimes I wish she would grade us out of 50% like all the other teachers do. That's all from me for now:)
'MY FUTURE HUSBAND' What would you write if you were given this title? I already wrote one and a half pages of the essay thinking it was due today itself. Then teacher went and changed her mind. But I had already written so much, I am not about to start all over again. So, I decided to go with the flow. Use what I've already written and better that, and just finish it off with a hopefully perfect ending. Mom, help me!
I know this is an interesting title to write on for most people, especially me:) When I'm done, I will post it on my blog like I do all my other 'interesting' essays. Hopefully I can achieve a good grade for this one. 'My Dream', my previous essay, managed an A- with the word Interesting! written above it. Yay! I can't exactly expect more than that. Puan Nurliza never gives a grade higher than A- Sometimes I wish she would grade us out of 50% like all the other teachers do. That's all from me for now:)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Happy Birthday Andrew!
You have been a great friend to me and I really appreciate it. No matter what ups and downs we face, separately or even together, I know we'll always get through it. Because we have already been through so much together. Thanks for being such an amazing waiting buddy turned best friend. God bless you always:D
Thursday, August 11, 2011
My Dream
Yay!! My English teacher finally gave an interesting topic as an essay assignment this week. I'm so happy:D We were learning about one-word essays that day, and she gave us a sample of one on 'LAUGHTER'. She asked the class, "Do you want to copy a sample essay or write your own?" Knowing 4Meranti, they said, "COPY!!" The great thing was, after letting us copy the sample essay, she wrote down 6 one-word essay topics on the board.
"Please let that be our homework..." I was thinking to myself.
"Okay class. Choose one and write," said Puan Nurliza.
YES!! Here were our choices:
When my eyes are closed shut, and it's dark all around. That's when I dream. When I think about my dream, I do not think about my future, or what I plan to become. I think of the play of images that appear every now and then when I'm asleep. Some dreams more fictional than others. Some dreams are so real, they're hard to differentiate from reality.
The dream I proudly call my dream is an unforgettable one. It involves some fiction, but the characters are ever so real.
The sky was dark, but I felt safe. Why? Because I was in her arms. My mother's arms. We were tucked away safely in my parents' bedroom, under the covers of the bed. She was holding me tight against her body as she rocked me back and forth, occasionally stroking my hair back, away form my forehead.
The sky grew darker. Thunder started to roar. Lightning started to strike. A big storm arose and I was shaking from head to toe. "Shhh.... Everything will be alright. I'm here with you," my mother whispered in my ear. My heartbeat slowed to a steadier pace, and soon I was relaxed again. Then, something striked me as strange. Where were my father and sister?
"They're alright baby. They're safe. I need to take care of you now," said my mother. I made a small whimper and closed my eyes. I leaned back against my mother and soon fell asleep in her arms. When I awoke, I came face-to-face with the boy who broke my heart. The scenery of the dream had changed and I was now standing in the house where Arthur broke my heart. His house. The thing is, I was not alone. She was there with me. My mother was there with me, holding my hand. "Go ahead, tell him how you feel," she said. So I did. After I did, a smile appeared on my face and all the pain of that memorable heartbreak disappeared. My mother turned me around to face her and smiled. Suddenly, the scenery around us changed again.
We were now standing in front of my school. My mother was holding me by my shoulders. I realised that I was holing my PMR results in my hands. I stared at it, already knowing what was stated. 3A's and 4B's. I looked up at my mother that was only a few inches taller than me with tears in my eyes. "Why are you crying dear? I am so proud of you. You did your best. You and I both know you were meant to be an art student, to pursue your passion for writing," she said while staring me in the eyes, giving me the reassurance I needed. At that moment, I knew everything was going to be alright.
"Now, close your eyes and awake from this dream," said my mother. We were now back in my parents' bedroom. Sitting on the bed. The storm had long passed and in it's place, a clear and bright sky. Just before my dream ended, my mother said to me,"I will carry you through any storm. Remember that. Even when I'm not there with you in person, I will always be there with you in spirit. I love you."
My mother is and always will be my ideal dream. A dream sent down to me from heaven:)
That's my essay. I love you so much mummy!:) Thank you for always watching over me.
"Please let that be our homework..." I was thinking to myself.
"Okay class. Choose one and write," said Puan Nurliza.
YES!! Here were our choices:
- My Dream
- Beauty
- Music
- Formula One
- Tsunami
- Friendship
When my eyes are closed shut, and it's dark all around. That's when I dream. When I think about my dream, I do not think about my future, or what I plan to become. I think of the play of images that appear every now and then when I'm asleep. Some dreams more fictional than others. Some dreams are so real, they're hard to differentiate from reality.
The dream I proudly call my dream is an unforgettable one. It involves some fiction, but the characters are ever so real.
The sky was dark, but I felt safe. Why? Because I was in her arms. My mother's arms. We were tucked away safely in my parents' bedroom, under the covers of the bed. She was holding me tight against her body as she rocked me back and forth, occasionally stroking my hair back, away form my forehead.
The sky grew darker. Thunder started to roar. Lightning started to strike. A big storm arose and I was shaking from head to toe. "Shhh.... Everything will be alright. I'm here with you," my mother whispered in my ear. My heartbeat slowed to a steadier pace, and soon I was relaxed again. Then, something striked me as strange. Where were my father and sister?
"They're alright baby. They're safe. I need to take care of you now," said my mother. I made a small whimper and closed my eyes. I leaned back against my mother and soon fell asleep in her arms. When I awoke, I came face-to-face with the boy who broke my heart. The scenery of the dream had changed and I was now standing in the house where Arthur broke my heart. His house. The thing is, I was not alone. She was there with me. My mother was there with me, holding my hand. "Go ahead, tell him how you feel," she said. So I did. After I did, a smile appeared on my face and all the pain of that memorable heartbreak disappeared. My mother turned me around to face her and smiled. Suddenly, the scenery around us changed again.
We were now standing in front of my school. My mother was holding me by my shoulders. I realised that I was holing my PMR results in my hands. I stared at it, already knowing what was stated. 3A's and 4B's. I looked up at my mother that was only a few inches taller than me with tears in my eyes. "Why are you crying dear? I am so proud of you. You did your best. You and I both know you were meant to be an art student, to pursue your passion for writing," she said while staring me in the eyes, giving me the reassurance I needed. At that moment, I knew everything was going to be alright.
"Now, close your eyes and awake from this dream," said my mother. We were now back in my parents' bedroom. Sitting on the bed. The storm had long passed and in it's place, a clear and bright sky. Just before my dream ended, my mother said to me,"I will carry you through any storm. Remember that. Even when I'm not there with you in person, I will always be there with you in spirit. I love you."
My mother is and always will be my ideal dream. A dream sent down to me from heaven:)
That's my essay. I love you so much mummy!:) Thank you for always watching over me.
Monday, August 8, 2011
An on the road confession
They were no longer kids. Nobody could tell them what they could and couldn't do. Once separated, but now reunited. This is real. Nothing could feel this good, and not be real. Going back and repeating what they did when they were just a couple of 15-year-olds, gave them an opportunity to explore something beyond friendship. They're 24-years-old now. Back for the holidays. Living in the houses just opposite each other.
A little peek to the right and she knew that he was thinking hard. "Please don't say it... Please don't say it...."
Staring out her window, she nervously hummed the first song that came into her head. "Take time to realize, that your warmth is crashing down on me.."
His head turned a little to the left. She looked at him then, 3 seconds later, he looked away. "Oh my! What have I done?" she thought to herself.
"9 years.." he said. She jumped a little and turned her body to face him. They were still on an empty highway, on the way to nowhere in particular, in the middle of the night.
Those were not the words she was expecting him to start with, but she waited patiently for him to go on.
"9 years of friendship, and you choose now to tell me?" Another pause, and he went on "You're in love with me." More a statement than a question.
Before she could say anything.. "And I'm in love with you."
Tree after tree, still very few cars on the road. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him then. She just stared. When he pulled over, her heartbeat accelerated. She realized she wasn't breathing consistently.
He turned his whole body to face her. The scenery around them seemed to have disappeared as she stared directly into his eyes. She closed her eyes for about 5 seconds. It was dark all around, but she wasn't afraid. The girl who was usually so terrified of the dark was not afraid. "I've got abandonment issues. I know I do," she thought, trembling slightly as she brought to mind her past disappointments, past failed relationships. But she felt comfortable, somehow. Secure, even. Right here, right now. With him, and only him did she feel safe.
"I'm gonna kiss you now," and a second later he did. It wasn't without warning, but she was still caught off guard. When she opened her eyes again, the car was moving. Staring at the signboard ahead, she realized what was happening. To her, and only in her eyes, she read the words 'HOME' on the signboard. No longer were they going nowhere, they were headed back, to the place it all started.
"I'm not going anywhere without you now, " he said.
"Just drive," she said.
"This is our thing, sneaking out at night and just driving around." said Todd.
"This is our thing." Wendy gave him a smile, then sat back, closed her eyes and just enjoyed the ride. She was in a world of her own, happy and nobody could take that away from her. No one could take him away from her. Not again.
A little peek to the right and she knew that he was thinking hard. "Please don't say it... Please don't say it...."
Staring out her window, she nervously hummed the first song that came into her head. "Take time to realize, that your warmth is crashing down on me.."
His head turned a little to the left. She looked at him then, 3 seconds later, he looked away. "Oh my! What have I done?" she thought to herself.
"9 years.." he said. She jumped a little and turned her body to face him. They were still on an empty highway, on the way to nowhere in particular, in the middle of the night.
Those were not the words she was expecting him to start with, but she waited patiently for him to go on.
"9 years of friendship, and you choose now to tell me?" Another pause, and he went on "You're in love with me." More a statement than a question.
Before she could say anything.. "And I'm in love with you."
Tree after tree, still very few cars on the road. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him then. She just stared. When he pulled over, her heartbeat accelerated. She realized she wasn't breathing consistently.
He turned his whole body to face her. The scenery around them seemed to have disappeared as she stared directly into his eyes. She closed her eyes for about 5 seconds. It was dark all around, but she wasn't afraid. The girl who was usually so terrified of the dark was not afraid. "I've got abandonment issues. I know I do," she thought, trembling slightly as she brought to mind her past disappointments, past failed relationships. But she felt comfortable, somehow. Secure, even. Right here, right now. With him, and only him did she feel safe.
"I'm gonna kiss you now," and a second later he did. It wasn't without warning, but she was still caught off guard. When she opened her eyes again, the car was moving. Staring at the signboard ahead, she realized what was happening. To her, and only in her eyes, she read the words 'HOME' on the signboard. No longer were they going nowhere, they were headed back, to the place it all started.
"I'm not going anywhere without you now, " he said.
"Just drive," she said.
"This is our thing, sneaking out at night and just driving around." said Todd.
"This is our thing." Wendy gave him a smile, then sat back, closed her eyes and just enjoyed the ride. She was in a world of her own, happy and nobody could take that away from her. No one could take him away from her. Not again.
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