Time after time. Encounter after encounter. Nothing changes. Little hints that come and go..... and then a bomb hits. The 'bad influence' bomb. I believe in you, I always have. They didn't make up my mind, I made up my mind. But, did you hear what they said?
"He doesn't take his responsibilities seriously"
"He always fools around"
"I'm not the only one, they don't like him either"
"He makes bad choices"
I thought my mind had come up with your worst side already. I thought I solved the 'worse comes to worst'. I guess I haven't. The chance I was offering, I'm considering taking it back. But then I think, do I even deserve better than you? I've been told time and time again that I do. It's hard not knowing where I stand in all of this. Where you want me to stand. Where you're standing in the meantime.
I've never seen the bad side of you. Not really. I saw the you that was kind, compassionate and patient. Caring, dedicated and strong. Loving, responsible and Godly. What are they seeing that I'm not? I want to see you. All of you. Because it's all or nothing. It's also all of me or nothing.
Who am I to judge, right? Do you even see my faults though? Are you easily fooled by my strong facade every time we meet? Do you see the vulnerability? I know you see me as shy, willing and caring. That's not all I want you to see.
In my mind, we could be something beautiful. Or maybe, just a beautiful disaster.
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