No thinking

I don't want to be your challenge. I don't want to be the girl you're fixated on. It's too much. You say, "No pressure", but there is pressure...ON ME! I may be the one putting weight on my shoulders, but it's all for good reason. You're not only perfect on paper, you're perfect in person too. When you open your mouth, you say all the right things. At least I think you're saying the right things. But to me, they could possibly be all the wrong things.

"What part of 'I'm not ready', don't you understand?"

I'm just tapping into all the negative sides of me right now.

You know I'm a runner. You know I've never been able to commit to anything serious. I've never had to, really. I live my life taking each day as it comes. You just had to stop me in my tracks and make me start my habit or over thinking again. I hate thinking. I hate it!

My brain is so damn frazzled right now... I can't tell what I'm feeling! When you ask, "Do you like me?" I ask my feelings, and they don't have an answer. I am serious. I can't even tell if I like someone right now! It's never been this tough. It's a yes or no question. Simple right? NOT!

UGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

I know you're not forcing me to do anything. But you are forcing me to face a truth I may not want to face yet. No, I DON'T want to face yet. Are you really sure I won't end up just hurting you one day to the point you can't even look at me anymore? Are you 100% sure I'm not just leading you on?

Cause I could very well be leading you on, and I've told you this from the start. You and I really don't have much in common. As it is, you and I see this "thing" we have going in different directions. You say you're the positive one, and I'm the negative one. But there's more to it. Why am I the negative one? Maybe it's cause I know I can't reciprocate whatever feelings you have for me. You say, "That's now, what about later?"

I just...don't want to think about it!!



I think I'm done ranting for the day.