Ever-changing

"It's just hard to believe that all of this...is my reality now. So much has changed. I still remember being a little girl. My mommy's little girl. I glance at something from my past and I remember the joy, the pain, the memory it gave me. I wear hand-me-downs from my mother and remember her arms wrapped around me. I brush my hair every morning and remember how she used to comb her fingers through my hair. I hum an old song and remember the first song I ever learnt how to sing -Amazing Grace. I open my closet and look at my little girl dresses and remember how small I was; how innocent I was. So much has happened since then. I know things now I wish I didn't. I've been through hard times that I never imagined could happen. And through all of this, I'm pretty sure I've changed. What if I've lost myself? What if I've lost that happy little girl? What if my lack of innocence affects my entire future? What if..."

I challenge you to look yourself in the mirror. Look at the man or woman you have become. The man and woman you are today. What do you see? Do you see someone you're proud of? Are you afraid of losing yourself like I am? Are you scared that you've changed into someone you don't even know anymore? Ask God who you are, who He wants you to be. I feel so insecure sometimes. My happiness is sincere but that doesn't mean I don't have fears. Fears that have me thinking through my days and nights. No one is perfect and my life certainly isn't. This life is an ever-changing experience. As we grow, we tend to change...and that's okay :) I will continue to change, but I'll be okay as long as I don't forget. Remembering is important, so I remember. I remember everything.

I miss you mom, I really do. Watch over me as I grow into the young woman you've always wanted me to be. I love you with all my heart and don't ever think that I've forgotten about you. I always remember to think of you. And like you said, "Don't forget to remember me." And I never will.