Holding On and Letting Go

It's the concept of standing under the rain and facing the palm of your hands upward to catch raindrops in your hands; to hold on to that raindrop or let it slide pass your fingers. It's cold out but I can't bring myself to find shelter. I can feel my body weaken as I continue to take this position under the pouring rain. I'm soaking wet now but I'm not leaving this place of solitude under the rain until I've learnt my lesson.

Holding on
Insecurities work both ways. She is not the only one feeling insecure. He has insecurities too. The beauty of their relationship is the honesty and vulnerability of each promise made to one another, like a vow made between husband and wife. The tears, the rage, the laughter, the smiles... When he says, "I'm not gonna leave you" in more tones than one. He can say it like he's sad, he can say it like he's mad, he can say it when he's overjoyed and he can say it when he feels content. He will mean it every time, in every way. When she tries to be strong and thinks the worst of what could or could not happen, she hurts him. So, her transparency matters too. In the end, this is what they're holding on to. They're holding on to each other, to the love and promises made, to the pain and the hardships faced, to something beautiful.

Letting go
Bonds of a few months to a few years can be strong enough to hurt you. Especially when someone lets go of that bond you thought would be there forever. The pang of guilt she feels when she looks back and thinks she didn't do enough in the friendship to keep it going for more than 3 months or 4 years. Where did the feeling of security go with these amazing people who once meant the world to her, and somehow someway, still do? To hold on and hurt whenever a smile isn't returned, or a message not replied; or let go and let it be a thing of the past? Just like raindrops that slide down your arm, they will disappear; and I know one day, these feelings of hurt will disappear too...eventually. The question is, is this really the time to let go? Is letting go the answer to her problems?


My week in a nutshell.