I think that says it all. New semester, new friends, new start :)I came into my first semester of college with a senior at my tail. I was blindsided for the first 3 months of my college life, but I'm not going to let that happen again. Despite going through that rough patch of falling into temptation, of chasing things that were not good for me, I made it. I ended my first semester with straight As. Yeah, that's right! With God, ANYTHING is possible.
Exam week was the same week I was crying over a ridiculous break up. I would study and take "crying breaks". After each paper I sat for, I literally went home and cried. I was only able to hold it together long enough to finish up an exam paper. That is why I really praise God for the results I managed to achieve. Do you know how amazing it is to say that I conquered a hardship AND managed results I can glorify His name with? It is truly something I will shout out at the top of mountains. God is so good, and all glory goes to Him. Only Him.
As for the boy who I let get to me, I only want the best for him and his family. I can only pray that one day, he will come to know my God. I want God to touch him and change his life the way He has changed mine. This boy is not a bad guy. He just made a mistake. I made a mistake. But God is ever forgiving. Ever loving. I want God's love to touch this boy. I want him to want to know about God. About His Son. About His ultimate sacrifice. About His grace.
It's the start of my 2nd semester in college. I'm meeting new friends, new lecturers, learning new things. I was so afraid that I would be marked by the decisions I made in first semester, but I'm not. Some may judge me, some may condemn me and make up their mind about me without even knowing me, but I know that there are those out there who don't. Who don't judge me, who will take the time to get to know me for me. And for that, I am truly grateful. I feel truly blessed :)
For a little while, I forgot to believe. I let my emotions get the best of me. But this experience had its purpose. I don't think I would've pushed so hard to succeed in my first semester if it wasn't for everything that had transpired. At that time, I was telling myself that since I sucked at relationships, everything else in my life had to be perfect. I then came to realize that that's not necessarily true. I just really have to try my best and keep believing in the strength God has put in me. I ventured into uncharted territory, had my heart broken and came out alive. I hope that whoever is reading this will remember that he or she is a strong person. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Our God is so merciful, so good. He won't give you a hardship you can't get through. He provides. He loves. He loves you. Jesus loves you.
The term "always stay strong" isn't really true. Sometimes, you have to let your guard down and get hurt to become stronger and wiser. And that is experience, your best teacher. Don't waste time being sad over the negative stuff. Instead, waste your time loving the people who love you because you deserve to be loved and they deserve to be loved too. Envelope yourself with happiness and joy. :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't use the term "always stay strong." What I meant was that we all have strength instilled in us. We just forget to believe it sometimes. As for loving the people who love me, I am doing so. I may have made a mistake and was sad over a petty thing for a long while, but that's also how I learned. How I became irrevocably stronger. Thanks for the feedback though Bryan:)
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