I wrote the song

I'm the girl. I wrote the song. Honestly, I think you deserve it. No matter what others might say. One verse, one chorus. That's all it takes to try and make you understand.

Take My Hand

He's so far from perfect, he has countless flaws

But when I look in his eyes, I can see so much more

That small town boy who lived no easy life

Made some bad choices and got into some fights

But I can see past his defenses

And I wanna tear down all his walls

Take my hand and I'll give you a chance

I promise not to judge you by your past

Time is short and we are scarred and flawed

Nothing ever turns out like you planned

Just take my hand because I'm giving you a chance

Resist temptation

"I want to hold your hand"

You say NO!!

Steve has more experience than Nancy will ever admit, but she can't help herself and her dreams. In her dream, she holds his hand. She's the foolish one. She's the one feeling too much.

Walk away!

"Wait for him to tell you first. You don't even know that he likes you yet." If only I could get those words into Nancy's thick skull. How do you not get involved?

Explain to me how Nancy can suddenly feel so much for a boy who's just her friend? A boy who she's currently working with? Maybe when they're done working together, thoughts and dreams of him will stop. Hopefully... 

They're story seems longer than expected. But I'll tell you one thing. By next week, the story might end. Hmmm... What do you think?

Assumptions

How many people have assumed the wrong things? Misinterpreted words, actions.
"Let me guess who you like. xxxxxxxx :D"
"I don't think so :/"
"Okay, don't tell me. But I think you guys should date. You'd be so cute together. Honestly, I think he likes you."

Don't listen to her...
If she didn't listen to her and take her words to heart, then why did she have such a vivid dream of him last night? That's because she did listen. And she thought about it all night long, up to the very next day. Until now, she still can't get that dream out of her head. People say that when you dream vividly about someone, that means that someone is thinking about you. She doesn't believe that. Or does she?

***

"I just lost my first kiss to you"
What a dream that was. Sometimes, it is really dangerous to be a dreamer.

***

"Just wait it out, no more assumptions. They only end in disaster."
But in the meantime, if her brain goes into overdrive because of her assumptions, I guess that's something she just can't help. To stop thinking altogether would be a really nice solution, but that doesn't happen every day does it? Especially when she's not the only one assuming, there are others out there doing the same. 'Others' she calls her friends.


And so, Steve and Nancy's story continues...

It's good to be home

Could it be?
"I'm not dreaming again, am I?"
Everything was so beautiful. The laughter. The joy. The people. Wonderful people. She felt herself catch her breath. Realizing that this really was her reality. She wouldn't ask for someone else's life ever again. Her own was perfect.

So what if her heart was broken before? If she cried tears of frustration and anger? If she made mistakes that she learnt from the hard way? She was here. Right here, right now. She was just glad to be home.
"I love my life. Thank you God!"

Last call

Don't say she didn't warn you. She's taking off soon and you may not see her for a long, long time. She feels as light as a feather when she thinks about flying to a new country. But her heart's as heavy as ever when she thinks about leaving you behind. Especially knowing she tried her best to show you how she really feels about you. She thought you may have had some kind of clue, but it turns out, you don't.

You'd think she was tired of his face by now. But, she's not. He warms her heart so. Just a glance, just a word, just his voice. Hmmm...  An unexpected call or reply would do. She feels a little silly right about now, but what is a girl of her age to do? 16. Young. Foolish.

Will she remember him when she returns home? I think so. Will he remember her? I don't know. Their story's not over. As the author of it, I have a feeling there's more to come. Just wait on it. I really want to know how Nancy and Steve's story turns out. Hopefully it doesn't hang in midair like some of my other characters. I'll just have to wait it out like the rest of you ;)

I just couldn't help myself but to post one more post before I take off. Waiting for my dad to finish breakfast so we can go. Hehe. I'll find more to blog about when I get back. I am really going to miss this. See you! Bye! :)

Mummy, come with me...

To a land far far away

I have to take another break from blogging. Nooooo!!! Haha:D I really do love the freedom to write, speak my mind. Guess where I'm going tomorrow? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with King Kong. Well, not really. Hehe:) Hong Kong, get ready to have me grace your land!! I am so full of myself sometimes ;)

I'll be back on the 10th and hopefully be inspired enough to blog about something interesting. I actually have something really eye-opening I wish to share with all my dedicated readers, I just don't have the time to blog about it tonight. So, I'll tell you in brief. My church and I did this PIHD program where we had to visit many poor people's homes and interview them. The interviews were mainly about their living situations and we learnt a lot by just listening to these people's stories. Do you understand how fortunate you are? Do you ever count your blessings? Thank God for your life for that matter? I could have cried if I let myself, but I didn't.

This first home we visited was in a very kampung area. It wasn't pretty to say the least.

These are the 3 boys who inspired me the most. Their smile made my day. 6, 8 and 12.

They have a 17-year old brother who's determined on becoming an accountant. The 8-year-old on my left also wants to become and accountant. But the 6 and 12-year-old said they want to become 'polis'

I have a different idea for the 12-year-old though. When I was sitting with him, he said this to me 

"I can draw lotus" and he went on to draw me a beautiful picture of a lotus. I know I'm being a bit unfair to the other boys but I truly loved his drawing the best. He knew his way around the color-pencil. He knew how to shade from dark to light and even outline his drawing. I don't know why, but that showed me that God works in mysterious ways. By giving him a gift that I hope he pursues in the future, no matter what obstacle he and his family are facing at the moment. Oh, he also confessed to Acing art in school ;) Of course he Aced Art!

G.Jayaraj

You're going to be famous someday;)

Despite language barriers, hours of driving around Sentul and tireless interviewing, this truly was an eye-opener for me. And I hope it was for you too. I think everyone should experience what I experienced today, and really stop taking God's blessings for granted. Ps, don't forget to pray for these wonderful people okay? 

I'll see you readers when I get back. Pray for journey mercies and that I don't fall sick this time around. See you in 6 days!

Be with us, mummy! It won't be any fun without you...

Quoting Peter Pan

Oh, how I love Peter Pan :)

Never say goodbye,

because saying goodbye means going away. 

And going away means forgetting. 

Who is he?

"So close, yet so far" To quote a song feels like a cliche right now. It's like waiting for that final domino piece to fall. Waiting. A thousand years of conversation wouldn't be enough for the two of them. She's finally brave enough to look him in the eye, and she sees everything that he is. Beautiful.

Walking side by side. It just felt so right to her. "Just take one step closer"
She can imagine herself in his arms. She took a nap this afternoon, and he came to her in a dream.
Nothing happened in her dream, he was just her friend, just like he is now in reality. Maybe, that's just it.

He's a friend :)

Wondering

"It's just you and me again"
If only he knew what those few words did to her. How many times has she had to hide her facial expressions? The ones that would give away all her thoughts?

"Let him be calling because he wants to hear my voice"
What is she thinking? They work together, nothing more. It's all business. Casual business talk.

She feels like a little girl again. That 7-year-old girl who had a crush on the boy next door. The boy she longed to have play dates with. She would've tried any game he'd wanted to play. Baseball, basketball, football... But she wasn't a tomboy. How do you expect a 7-year-old boy to reciprocate the same feelings? You don't.

That's how she feels now too. Even at 21. Always wondering what his thoughts are. There are so many beautiful women in this world. What would make her the exception to this man? To any man for that matter...

"Don't worry, everything will work out according to His plan"

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" -Songs of songs 8:4b

The Bible is the answer. It's God's love letters to you. Listen and understand His plan :)

Stay with me, Lord

In the shadows, I am waiting

For a whisper, a sound of movement

Listening intently for Your voice

Carry me through fears and scares

Vulnerable, is all I am

My body stills as I watch time pass

But I am not alone

Your arms around my shoulders

I can really feel Your presence

Surrounding me

Take Your time here

You're always welcomed
I want to hear every word You have to say

Stay with me

Please stay with me, Lord

A glimpse of simplicity

It would be so easy. A life with him. Everything always seemed like a challenge for her. Every decision in her life had been a hard one. But tonight, she caught a glimpse of what it would be like to have a little simplicity in her life. 

"Huh?" 

Ten feet away from her, a familiar face was looking her way. They were both about to look away when they realized something. They knew each other! 

"What?"

She wasn't wearing her most comfortable jeans, and her blouse was a little too tight for her liking, but she didn't think she'd have to care, until she realized she had to talk to him. It wasn't like she had to, but why wouldn't she? He was her friend after all. Conversation was so easy with him. Every time she thought they were on the brink of awkwardness and would have nothing else to talk about, well, they'd find something to talk about. He said a lot of things, but she barely processed anything he said. She was too caught up in her own thoughts. "We're actually having a conversation. A now, 20 minute conversation. How did that happen?" 

No, people did not consider this boy good looking. But he was friendly, and charming. When she looked him in the eye, which was not very often as she would start to blush, she didn't see the prettiest eyes. She saw sincerity. She saw kindness. She also saw insecurity. She saw shame. She'd give anything to know him better. Spend more time with him. She wanted their conversation to last forever. Inside, she kept hoping that God will send someone like him to her one day. A boy like him would grow up to be an honorable man. She didn't know how she came to that conclusion, she just knew. The boy that stood in front of her an hour earlier may not be the boy of her dreams, but he was a boy worth her time. 

He made her want to stop time. He made her want to read minds. He made her feel something. She knew they would spend more time together in the future, she just didn't know if they'd have any time alone like they did tonight. A very coincidental night. Only time will tell. Only God will know. 

For now, he's the boy that made her 1st of December 2011 an interesting one. Not magical, not amazing, just interesting. He gave her a glimpse of simplicity:)

I'm hearing everything you're not saying

I'm not dumb. I know when something's being hidden from me. Some emotion especially. I also know when someone's frustrated at me and doesn't want to show it. You don't know me well enough yet, but apologizing and taking the blame is what I do best. I should really be getting on your nerves by now. Nope, not another apology here. To try and face the immature behavior of this earth is beyond my comprehension.

As I say this, not everything is on my shoulders. There are other people suffering because of the inconsideration of others. I am thinking about the well-being of these people, which includes just about everyone, because I am learning to love these new brothers and sisters in Christ I'm getting to know. They deserve better, don't you think?

I stepped up and did my best. I was hoping you'd be my partner and do the same. So now, I'm stuck with my own thoughts. I'm hearing everything you're not saying because that's just how my brain works. Yeah, I over-think stuff, but that's only because I care.

I will not let my frustration get the better of me. Maybe you will, but I won't. I stepped up. Now, I'm going to try and be the bigger person. Anyway, I should let you in on a little secret. I'm not carrying all this weight on my own. Guess who's helping me? My God. My most gracious and awesome God. If you won't help me, He will. He always has been. I pray you will come around soon, cause guess what? We still have a lot on our plates and we most likely have to do it together.

Ps, I can sometimes read minds too. Just remember, I hear EVERYTHING you're not saying;)