Faking strength

Just a touch of water on her fingertips. Being here alone, with her eyes closed, she can dream bout anything and everything. There's no one to wake her, no one to say it's foolish to dream that big.

"I'm gonna fly, mommy!"

I'm going to do everything in my power to succeed. No one can be mean enough to hurt me, no one can ignore me and have me care enough to feel sad about it. I've been pushed down way too many times to let anything or anyone leave a scar on me. You can try, I'll make myself an easy target for you to hit, but I'm not going to bruise. My mother had faith in me. It's about time I had faith in myself.

When I dream, the 'me' in my dreams is someone I admire. She has no fear, no enemies, no pain. She's completely happy.

Everyone sees me as strong. Sometimes, I wish they wouldn't. I know, it's why they look up to me in the first place. But what if I was faking it? What if my strength was just a really powerful facade of lies? No one would believe me. But I'm going to give them a reason to believe me.

I'm really going to be strong now. I've already lost some really good friends. I've lost some days of my life. I've lost some battles. I've lost a mom. But none of that is going to stop me from smiling, from working hard, from seeing everything in a better light. I can be strong, you just have to give me some time to work at it. Don't just say I'm strong for the sake of saying it because you think you know what I've been through. You don't. The same way I don't know what you've been through, but I don't tell you lies. I don't want to hear anymore about how strong I am. I don't want people to expect that from me. I break, but I'm going to work on not breaking so easily. Do you hear me now? I really hope you hear me now....

I love you mommy. I miss you so, so bad.