I loved celebrating my sixteenth birthday and I wish I had the time to tell you all that went down during the time of my birthday but I just don't. All I can say is I love my family and I love my friends. But I must cry and tell Mummy how much I wish she were here with me to celebrate every important event with me. I miss you so much. I miss you every day.
As I put all the cards and notes my friends have given me on the wall, I look just a little lower and see your cards. No one card beats all of yours. You also gave me the greatest present of all, you. You raised me and now, I can say that I have had a life. My life is not over yet but I have experienced a life with you. A life I will never forget, I love you so so much, mum. Please continue to watch over Papa, Kaela and me. We miss you...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Love That Was Lost
"No, I don't believe you! You love me. You said you loved me and would always be there for me at my time of need. Now you say you have another girlfriend? No! No! No!" Sandra woke up from yet another nightmare. "What is wrong with me? Arnold is my best friend. He reminds me of our unbreakable friendship every day. Our friendship that grew beyond imaginable fantasies".
Sandra was a fourteen-year-old girl. Having inherited her mother's beauty and sense of humour, along with her father's hypnotizing smile and brains, she was a girl many would call 'perfect', 'one in a million'. When people looked at Sandra, their first thought was "Here is another pretty, naive little girl that has yet to experience how tough life can really be". Most people never thought much of her, except the boys who were always captivated by her beauty and unique personality. No one knew just how mature this young girl really was. Without anybody's knowledge, not even her closest friends', she kept a painful secret that forced her to lie about her happiness, her true feelings that she kept hidden deep inside her heart. That all changed when she met Arnold. A charming young boy who wasn't conventionally good-looking, but handsome in his own way. He had dark, average length hair,tan skin and a smile that was to die for. Besides all that, he was very sociable among his circle of friends. Some might have sworn he knew the entire school. He was the star soccer player after all.
Sandra and Arnold had very little in common, but when they finally crossed paths at a mutual friend's Chinese New Year open house party, there was an undeniable attraction between the two fourteen-year-olds. When they were first introduced to each other, Arnold seemed like the only one that had noticed the black-brown-haired beauty standing in front of him. Sandra had paid very little attention to him because she didn't really like big events of this sort. They just made her feel downright uncomfortable. Later that night, they bumped into each other again and decided to join a game of cards that was going on in one of the rooms of the enormous bungalow house their friend owned. During a game of blackjack, Arnold began to tease Sandra, and that caused her to respond in defense. When they caught each other's eye, the gleam of amusement in the other's eye did not go unnoticed by the two, and a blush spread from Sandra's neck to her cheeks. As the night went on, Arnold finally built up the courage to ask for Sandra's number. She was reluctant at first, but the easy-going atmosphere in the room made her comfortable enough to agree to his request.
Sandra and Arnold's friendship was easy-going. They texted each other frequently and on occasion, Arnold would call to ask Sandra how her day was. They went to the same school unknowingly, and when school re-opened they were shocked, but overjoyed, to see one another. They enjoyed each other's company very much. Soon, Sandra felt like she could tell Arnold anything and everything. The reason this was, was because he seemed genuinely concerned about her well-being. Everyone could tell he cared for her deeply and would be willing to do anything for her. That was unusual for a boy like Arnold. Sandra felt the same way about him. There was a vulnerability when it came to their friendship. They both felt it. Being as young as they were, they had once mentioned to each other that they were too young to get involved or date and would only start when they were at least seventeen years old. Both parties had witnessed their friends' relationships go sour, and were never able to obtain their original friendships after that, but as they're friendship grew stronger, so did their true feelings for one another.
One night, Sandra broke down on a phone call to Arnold. She revealed her one and only secret that might ruin her forever. She told herself that if she ever opened up to anybody about this, she would forever be vulnerable to them, and at that time, Arnold seemed like the perfect person to tell her secret to, appear vulnerable towards. "My mother has lymphoma cancer. She is at her fourth stage, the last stage. She is very weak and is only getting weaker by the days. My parents are out of employment as my father has to stay home with my mother twenty-four seven. He monitors her and takes very good care of her. She just recently started coughing up blood and is bed-ridden. I'm terrified. I don't know what to do Arnold. She's my mom", Sandra said with choked sobs and tears streaming down her face. Arnold was silent for about a minute or two on the receiving end. When Sandra was about to speak again after recollecting herself, she heard three softly whispered words in her ear. "I love you". She wasn't sure she had heard him right but before she could say anything... "I love you. I love you as more than a friend. I want to be there with you. I want to hold you right now and it's killing me that I am not there with you. I am so sorry that you have to go through this alone. I want to share the pain with you, you don't deserve to have so much weight on your shoulders. My darling Sandra, even if you can't accept me as more than a friend, even if you want to stick to our agreement on not getting involved until we're seventeen, I can't help my feelings for you. I love you".
Arnold had sounded out of breath. Like there was difficulty in choking out the words he had kept in his heart for so long. That night, Sandra ended the call with one simple sentence. "I love you too my dearest Arnold". After that night, Arnold and Sandra had a bond that was untouchable by any being. They started acting as more than friends, each movement careful and sweet at the same time. It was as if they were joined together by an invisible force of nature. They were not like the other couples that displayed their affections in an overly public manner. All they did was talk more, whispered words of encouragement and endearment to one another and held each others' hand when needed. They leaned on each other for everything... until the day Arnold told her he was moving away.
She felt betrayed, but she'd soon find out what true betrayal really is. He was leaving to further his studies in Canada. She quietly hated him for it but she knew it was not his fault. His mother had been planning this for him since Primary. Now that he was fifteen, he had to go. Their time together was growing shorter by the day. They spent every waking minute together but Sandra had already started putting distance between them. She told herself she had to if she wanted to make it through this heartbreak alive. He knew her intentions, but he wouldn't let her get away that easily. He showered her with memories of their time spent together. Some of the most memorable moments they had experienced as a couple, as friends, as best friends. He wouldn't let her forget it and deep down inside, she didn't want to forget it either. There was a place in her heart for Arnold now. Even if he left, she would keep him in her heart forever.
The day he left was the day Sandra's nightmares started going out of control.There were nightmares where he rejected her repeatedly and ones where he just left her stranded, deserted and alone. But every night, Arnold would call and so her nightmares were just that; nightmares. Two months after he had left, she broke off all communication with him. She explained on the phone one night that her mother's condition was getting worse and she needed time alone. She really needed some time alone, away from his voice. In her mind, she wanted to break things off with him but could never bring herself to do it.
The night of her worst nightmare was when everything started going south. The thought of Arnold holding another girl in his arms disgusted Sandra. The following night, Sandra made a long distance phone call. Arnold answered after the second ring with a simple 'hello'. She wanted to reassure herself once again that her boyfriend, her best friend was the most amazing boy she'd ever met. When she went on to describe her day, Arnold cut her off mid-sentence. "I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I found someone else Sandra. There is no excuse for what I've done". He went on to explain who she was and how they had met. She did not want to hear anymore but couldn't bring herself to hang up. Some part of her needed to hear it. When she finally did hang up, the sentence that haunted her the most was "I only did it to get over you, and I need you to get over me too".
"No! No! No!", Sandra thought to herself. She felt truly and utterly betrayed. Her best friend. Her first boyfriend. Her first love. And now, her first heartbreak. Her heart literally hurt. She cried and cried. Nothing could stop her stubborn tears from streaming down her face. Her throat was tight. Her face was red and puffy. Her hair was a mess. Her eyes were swollen. She was sweating non-stop. She cried until the sun came out the next morning. She went on with her daily routine with a fake smile and a brave facade. She was like a zombie and it did not go unnoticed by her friends, but whenever they pushed her for the truth, she just said "I'm fine".
Arnold came back to Malaysia a year later, broken up with his girlfriend. Sandra was secretly happy things didn't work out for them. Sandra told herself that she would never be rid of her feelings for Arnold.
Arnold came back to Malaysia for one reason, and one reason only. Sandra. Sandra's mother's time had come. Sandra knew he was coming. She was unsure of her feelings. On one hand, she was upset, on the other, she was really excited to be seeing him again. She had been coping so well with her mother's death. Taking care of her father and little sister was not an easy task. She wanted so badly for someone to lean on. Not just anybody. She wanted Arnold, and he was coming. For her.
Sandra's reaction towards Arnold was uncanny. It was unexpected. She was in her room, thinking of the past few days, everything that had happened. She had not yet shed a tear over her mom's passing and she had no idea why. Every relative she could think of was downstairs, paying their respects and she couldn't bring herself to face them. There was a knock at the door. Sandra was really not in in the mood to see anybody at that time but something told her she had to open it. There stood Arnold. She didn't even think when she ran straight into his arms. She lost all anger towards him. She did not care that he cheated on her. She was truly happy to have him just hold her. He closed the door behind him and Sandra started to cry. Her first tear touched Arnold's cheek. "Please believe me, I never meant to hurt you," he cried.
Sandra was a fourteen-year-old girl. Having inherited her mother's beauty and sense of humour, along with her father's hypnotizing smile and brains, she was a girl many would call 'perfect', 'one in a million'. When people looked at Sandra, their first thought was "Here is another pretty, naive little girl that has yet to experience how tough life can really be". Most people never thought much of her, except the boys who were always captivated by her beauty and unique personality. No one knew just how mature this young girl really was. Without anybody's knowledge, not even her closest friends', she kept a painful secret that forced her to lie about her happiness, her true feelings that she kept hidden deep inside her heart. That all changed when she met Arnold. A charming young boy who wasn't conventionally good-looking, but handsome in his own way. He had dark, average length hair,tan skin and a smile that was to die for. Besides all that, he was very sociable among his circle of friends. Some might have sworn he knew the entire school. He was the star soccer player after all.
Sandra and Arnold had very little in common, but when they finally crossed paths at a mutual friend's Chinese New Year open house party, there was an undeniable attraction between the two fourteen-year-olds. When they were first introduced to each other, Arnold seemed like the only one that had noticed the black-brown-haired beauty standing in front of him. Sandra had paid very little attention to him because she didn't really like big events of this sort. They just made her feel downright uncomfortable. Later that night, they bumped into each other again and decided to join a game of cards that was going on in one of the rooms of the enormous bungalow house their friend owned. During a game of blackjack, Arnold began to tease Sandra, and that caused her to respond in defense. When they caught each other's eye, the gleam of amusement in the other's eye did not go unnoticed by the two, and a blush spread from Sandra's neck to her cheeks. As the night went on, Arnold finally built up the courage to ask for Sandra's number. She was reluctant at first, but the easy-going atmosphere in the room made her comfortable enough to agree to his request.
Sandra and Arnold's friendship was easy-going. They texted each other frequently and on occasion, Arnold would call to ask Sandra how her day was. They went to the same school unknowingly, and when school re-opened they were shocked, but overjoyed, to see one another. They enjoyed each other's company very much. Soon, Sandra felt like she could tell Arnold anything and everything. The reason this was, was because he seemed genuinely concerned about her well-being. Everyone could tell he cared for her deeply and would be willing to do anything for her. That was unusual for a boy like Arnold. Sandra felt the same way about him. There was a vulnerability when it came to their friendship. They both felt it. Being as young as they were, they had once mentioned to each other that they were too young to get involved or date and would only start when they were at least seventeen years old. Both parties had witnessed their friends' relationships go sour, and were never able to obtain their original friendships after that, but as they're friendship grew stronger, so did their true feelings for one another.
One night, Sandra broke down on a phone call to Arnold. She revealed her one and only secret that might ruin her forever. She told herself that if she ever opened up to anybody about this, she would forever be vulnerable to them, and at that time, Arnold seemed like the perfect person to tell her secret to, appear vulnerable towards. "My mother has lymphoma cancer. She is at her fourth stage, the last stage. She is very weak and is only getting weaker by the days. My parents are out of employment as my father has to stay home with my mother twenty-four seven. He monitors her and takes very good care of her. She just recently started coughing up blood and is bed-ridden. I'm terrified. I don't know what to do Arnold. She's my mom", Sandra said with choked sobs and tears streaming down her face. Arnold was silent for about a minute or two on the receiving end. When Sandra was about to speak again after recollecting herself, she heard three softly whispered words in her ear. "I love you". She wasn't sure she had heard him right but before she could say anything... "I love you. I love you as more than a friend. I want to be there with you. I want to hold you right now and it's killing me that I am not there with you. I am so sorry that you have to go through this alone. I want to share the pain with you, you don't deserve to have so much weight on your shoulders. My darling Sandra, even if you can't accept me as more than a friend, even if you want to stick to our agreement on not getting involved until we're seventeen, I can't help my feelings for you. I love you".
Arnold had sounded out of breath. Like there was difficulty in choking out the words he had kept in his heart for so long. That night, Sandra ended the call with one simple sentence. "I love you too my dearest Arnold". After that night, Arnold and Sandra had a bond that was untouchable by any being. They started acting as more than friends, each movement careful and sweet at the same time. It was as if they were joined together by an invisible force of nature. They were not like the other couples that displayed their affections in an overly public manner. All they did was talk more, whispered words of encouragement and endearment to one another and held each others' hand when needed. They leaned on each other for everything... until the day Arnold told her he was moving away.
She felt betrayed, but she'd soon find out what true betrayal really is. He was leaving to further his studies in Canada. She quietly hated him for it but she knew it was not his fault. His mother had been planning this for him since Primary. Now that he was fifteen, he had to go. Their time together was growing shorter by the day. They spent every waking minute together but Sandra had already started putting distance between them. She told herself she had to if she wanted to make it through this heartbreak alive. He knew her intentions, but he wouldn't let her get away that easily. He showered her with memories of their time spent together. Some of the most memorable moments they had experienced as a couple, as friends, as best friends. He wouldn't let her forget it and deep down inside, she didn't want to forget it either. There was a place in her heart for Arnold now. Even if he left, she would keep him in her heart forever.
The day he left was the day Sandra's nightmares started going out of control.There were nightmares where he rejected her repeatedly and ones where he just left her stranded, deserted and alone. But every night, Arnold would call and so her nightmares were just that; nightmares. Two months after he had left, she broke off all communication with him. She explained on the phone one night that her mother's condition was getting worse and she needed time alone. She really needed some time alone, away from his voice. In her mind, she wanted to break things off with him but could never bring herself to do it.
The night of her worst nightmare was when everything started going south. The thought of Arnold holding another girl in his arms disgusted Sandra. The following night, Sandra made a long distance phone call. Arnold answered after the second ring with a simple 'hello'. She wanted to reassure herself once again that her boyfriend, her best friend was the most amazing boy she'd ever met. When she went on to describe her day, Arnold cut her off mid-sentence. "I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I found someone else Sandra. There is no excuse for what I've done". He went on to explain who she was and how they had met. She did not want to hear anymore but couldn't bring herself to hang up. Some part of her needed to hear it. When she finally did hang up, the sentence that haunted her the most was "I only did it to get over you, and I need you to get over me too".
"No! No! No!", Sandra thought to herself. She felt truly and utterly betrayed. Her best friend. Her first boyfriend. Her first love. And now, her first heartbreak. Her heart literally hurt. She cried and cried. Nothing could stop her stubborn tears from streaming down her face. Her throat was tight. Her face was red and puffy. Her hair was a mess. Her eyes were swollen. She was sweating non-stop. She cried until the sun came out the next morning. She went on with her daily routine with a fake smile and a brave facade. She was like a zombie and it did not go unnoticed by her friends, but whenever they pushed her for the truth, she just said "I'm fine".
Arnold came back to Malaysia a year later, broken up with his girlfriend. Sandra was secretly happy things didn't work out for them. Sandra told herself that she would never be rid of her feelings for Arnold.
Arnold came back to Malaysia for one reason, and one reason only. Sandra. Sandra's mother's time had come. Sandra knew he was coming. She was unsure of her feelings. On one hand, she was upset, on the other, she was really excited to be seeing him again. She had been coping so well with her mother's death. Taking care of her father and little sister was not an easy task. She wanted so badly for someone to lean on. Not just anybody. She wanted Arnold, and he was coming. For her. Sandra's reaction towards Arnold was uncanny. It was unexpected. She was in her room, thinking of the past few days, everything that had happened. She had not yet shed a tear over her mom's passing and she had no idea why. Every relative she could think of was downstairs, paying their respects and she couldn't bring herself to face them. There was a knock at the door. Sandra was really not in in the mood to see anybody at that time but something told her she had to open it. There stood Arnold. She didn't even think when she ran straight into his arms. She lost all anger towards him. She did not care that he cheated on her. She was truly happy to have him just hold her. He closed the door behind him and Sandra started to cry. Her first tear touched Arnold's cheek. "Please believe me, I never meant to hurt you," he cried.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Words from the Publisher
Hey:) I know most of you are familiar with the writings of AW by now. This mysterious and fairly talented writer is a good friend of mine and I hope you've enjoyed her short stories. I'm hoping to convince her to write a storybook one day. Good idea, don't you think? I love AW. AW is like a sibling to me. We share everything with each other. At least that's what I'd like to think. Haha.
Aw encourages me to write my own material and I go for it. I know I may not be as good a writer as AW but I'll give it a shot. Our stories and the way of telling our stories are very different. The one similarity we have is that we write either from experience or feeling. Even if our stories are a mix of fiction and facts, we believe that a good story should be shared with as many people as possible. AW just chooses to be, well, anonymous...
On a personal note, I write only when I feel like it. Even if it seems insignificant and small to some, well, it will always hold some significance to me. The story that I'm about to publish in the coming week is without a doubt a personal one. It's not very well written, the language used is simple, but I'd like to think that you're able to relate to the characters like I know you do with the characters in AW's stories.
Even though I've said that the story is based on a true experience, please don't take too much of it to heart. It happened a long time ago. Everything is fine now. There will always be unresolved, unanswered questions in my mind I can't do anything about. But that's just something I've learned to live with. The story is told based on my side of the experience. Who knows what the other party experienced in the midst of my pain and confusion? I know for a fact that both parties suffered in their own ways. No party was innocent and was left unscarred. Believe me.
Maybe one day he and she will come clean. And I can tell the story the way it really happened. Down to every minor detail. Until I get a hold of the original story, I think I'll leave you with this.
They were too innocent to understand what they were feeling. Too young to have ever known love from someone besides their family and friends. It was no longer a platonic relationship. It was more than that. Every exchanged glance started a fire in both their hearts. They could never look away. ***He was like a beautiful miracle in her eyes. Who could create someone so magnificent? Someone that made her feel like she was invincible.*** He knew he was naive and immature. He knew he couldn't handle such a relationship, with such an amazing girl. She was like no other. This was no minor crush. But this also can't be love. "I don't know what love feels like..." How did a simple exchange of words come to this. A craving for someones presence you just can't let go of. A kilometer of a distance was already too much to bare. How could she let him go? But she did. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. How could he leave her? But he did. And he never looked back.
Aw encourages me to write my own material and I go for it. I know I may not be as good a writer as AW but I'll give it a shot. Our stories and the way of telling our stories are very different. The one similarity we have is that we write either from experience or feeling. Even if our stories are a mix of fiction and facts, we believe that a good story should be shared with as many people as possible. AW just chooses to be, well, anonymous...
On a personal note, I write only when I feel like it. Even if it seems insignificant and small to some, well, it will always hold some significance to me. The story that I'm about to publish in the coming week is without a doubt a personal one. It's not very well written, the language used is simple, but I'd like to think that you're able to relate to the characters like I know you do with the characters in AW's stories.
Even though I've said that the story is based on a true experience, please don't take too much of it to heart. It happened a long time ago. Everything is fine now. There will always be unresolved, unanswered questions in my mind I can't do anything about. But that's just something I've learned to live with. The story is told based on my side of the experience. Who knows what the other party experienced in the midst of my pain and confusion? I know for a fact that both parties suffered in their own ways. No party was innocent and was left unscarred. Believe me.
Maybe one day he and she will come clean. And I can tell the story the way it really happened. Down to every minor detail. Until I get a hold of the original story, I think I'll leave you with this.
They were too innocent to understand what they were feeling. Too young to have ever known love from someone besides their family and friends. It was no longer a platonic relationship. It was more than that. Every exchanged glance started a fire in both their hearts. They could never look away. ***He was like a beautiful miracle in her eyes. Who could create someone so magnificent? Someone that made her feel like she was invincible.*** He knew he was naive and immature. He knew he couldn't handle such a relationship, with such an amazing girl. She was like no other. This was no minor crush. But this also can't be love. "I don't know what love feels like..." How did a simple exchange of words come to this. A craving for someones presence you just can't let go of. A kilometer of a distance was already too much to bare. How could she let him go? But she did. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. How could he leave her? But he did. And he never looked back.
The Scar
She lay on her bed, stared up at the ceiling and counted thnumber of patterns she could find, a habit of hers when the world seemed like it was caving in on her. Though she was all too familiar with the patterns, it just seemed like the breath of fresh air she was gasping for, her perfect getaway. It wasn’t as if she was facing major problems, just one that was perpetually there- she felt small, and she despised it. She wasn’t small in the physically challenged sense- in fact she was quite the opposite- but rather unappreciated, insignificant and taken for granted. She closed her eyes and heaved a long sigh, hoping that her problems would just dissipate into thin air. At the thought of it, her lips curled up into a weak smile and then almost immediately, it vanished. Funny how the word ‘air’ seemed so light, she thought, and she knew exactly why. “Because problems just don’t simply disappear into thin air,” she said with an air of sadness. “Unlike me. To them, I just disappear without a trace and they don’t care, they never do. I guess they only have eyes for pretty girls.” A few wisps of suppressed envy were beginning to escape; to circle her mind looking for a place to lodge. -AW
As the children scrambled to the dining table for the scones, she stared up at the ceiling once again. This time however, not because the world was enclosing on her, but as a sign of gratitude towards the Maker of heaven and earth because the world had seemed to open up as the years went by. She turned her gaze towards her left wrist. The scar from the slit brought taught her many valuable lessons that will always linger in her mind till the day she returns home. The scar reminded her of her foolish actions, her naïve thoughts, but most importantly, the love of her friends and family. While she conjured up all the times spent together with them, her lips slid up into a wide smile. She let out a wheezy laugh and fell into a deep, deep sleep.
This isn't the story I promised, but I really hope you enjoy it. It's by AW :D that's definitely got to be a good thing. So give me your feedback and I'll pass it on to AW :) My story will be posted up by next week, I assure you... I think :P GBU readers!
She got up from her bed and paced towards the mirror that stood on her dressing table. She looked into those hazel eyes, brimmed with sympathy that penetrated into the darkest corners of her life. The sorrow, pain, anger, hurt, frustration, jealousy, she could see it all. She was like a dying star, the weight of all her emotions engulfing the little dim light that had once been able to illuminate a room full of people. The incandescent glow from the warmth of her heart had reduced to a charred shell, black and cold. No one would’ve thought that a jaunty young lady like her would ever become so diffident. “That’s life. Expect the unexpected,” she said with a forced laugh as she held a pen in her hand. She inhaled deeply and with every ounce of strength, hauled the pen towards the mirror. She watched it shatter into pieces, just like her life. She bit her lip and broke into soft sobs. I’m going to end this once and for all, she thought. Her eyes darted from a shard of the mirror to her wrist. She picked up the shard, shut her eyes and…
***
“I guess some days we die a little,” she said with a cackle as she sat on her rocking chair. Her grandchildren that gathered around her watched her, their eyes wide with shock, incredulous that their wise, old, wrinkly grandmother would have attempted suicide. “And then what happened next, gammy?” asked young Suzie earnestly. “Ahh, that’s for me to know, and you to find out,” she tapped Suzie’s nose and winked. “Who’s hungry? I made some scones!” called out a voice from the kitchen. “Ma, do you want some? I made extras.”
“No, no dear, you go ahead. I’m not very hungry,” she replied with a smile.
-AW
This isn't the story I promised, but I really hope you enjoy it. It's by AW :D that's definitely got to be a good thing. So give me your feedback and I'll pass it on to AW :) My story will be posted up by next week, I assure you... I think :P GBU readers!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
What's real and what's not
Yay! I think I'm finally going to get my essay book back tomorrow. FINALLY! At least that's what I hope. *Sighs* I will get it back. The story of Arnold and Sandra. I'm sure some of you that are in on the story want to know what's true and what's false. My estimation is... 70% true and 30% fiction. This may come as a spoiler but I'll just tell you the parts that are true and false. Tomorrow, the FULL story will be up. It was a school English assignment, so I couldn't exactly write a whole storybook, nor tell you the WHOLE story IN DETAIL from START to FINISH but I think this essay says enough. On paper, it's 6 pages long. It may sound like a lot, but trust me, it isn't. I know that some people have read the last paragraph on Facebook. It was a joy reading all your comments. Haha. I just hope my story lives up to your expectations.
Ok, here goes.
Characters used in this story may be reading this and I'm sorry. I tried to apologize as forward as possible, but certain characters wouldn't give me the chance to. So, I'm sorry. No feelings were meant to get hurt in the process of writing this story. Thank you and Goodnight.
Ok, here goes.
- The way they met - True (except for some minor details)
- The charming comments exchanged - True
- Ask of the phone number - False ( h/p no. were exchanged further along the way of their friendship)
- The easygoing friendship - True
- The falling for each other - True
- The phone call (confession of the secret) - False (secret was told much earlier in their friendship)
- The get-together - True
- The moving away - True (but not that far *Canada was not involved*)
- The sudden breakup - False (already broken up when he moved)
- The new girlfriend - True (lines used in the phone conversation was all true*i thought it was a nice touch, no?*)
- The breakup with the new girlfriend - True
- The secret - True
Characters used in this story may be reading this and I'm sorry. I tried to apologize as forward as possible, but certain characters wouldn't give me the chance to. So, I'm sorry. No feelings were meant to get hurt in the process of writing this story. Thank you and Goodnight.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Taylor Swift Medley
Now I've got AS. Anonymous singer pula. This girl ah....
Here's the mashup
Songs including: Superman, Speak Now, Forever and Always, Mine, Love Story, Today was a Fairytale, Hey Stephen, You Belong with Me
Here's the mashup
Songs including: Superman, Speak Now, Forever and Always, Mine, Love Story, Today was a Fairytale, Hey Stephen, You Belong with Me
Tall Dark and Superman
He puts his papers in his briefcase and drives away
To save the world or go to work
It's the same thing to me
He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition
I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him
And I hang on every word you say
You'll smile and say how are you
And I'll say, Just fine
I always forget to tell you I love you
I loved you from the very first day
Don't say Yes run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the backdoor
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out and they said Speak Now
Cause I watched Superman fly away
You've got a busy day today
To save the world, I'll be around
I watched Superman fly away
Come back I'll be with you someday
I'll be right here on the ground
Till you come back down
I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called
And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
Then you flash back to when we said forever and always
Oh back up, baby back up
Did you forget everything
Back up, baby back up
Did you forget everything?
Cause I remembered how we felt sitting by the water
(Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone)
And everytime I look at you, it's like the first time
(I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run)
You fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
(You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess)
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
(It's a love story, baby just say yes)
Cause we were both young when I first saw you
Today was a fairytale
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmmm...
Standing by here waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me
You belong with me
I hope AS doesn't mind that I post the lyrics up. Here's the link for facebook. I don't know how to upload a recording on blospot. Hehe
Hope you like it mom:)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Time is sometimes beautiful
Take a deep breath. Go for it, don't look back now, you're running out of time. Fate is chasing you. It's right at your tail now. No, don't turn back. Go... Go....
Don't go. Stop. Stare fate right in the face. Jump in. There is still time. Time does wait for someone. It waits for you. What is fate asking of you? Look closer, search deeper. Don't even blink. Listen. Have faith...
"I want you to stay. Speak to me. Listen to me. Try to understand. You're where you're meant to be. Feel what you're feeling. Don't push, don't hate. Tell her, him, God. Time is waiting for you. What are you waiting for?"
It's inevitable. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I want you.... To love me. To miss me. To need me. To want me.
I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. Always have been. Same as always. Minor differences. Make your decision now, before it's too late.
Let's figure this out together. Come and see me. Face to face. Here's where I want you to be. Face to face, with me.
Time is beautiful. You still have so much...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Every tear takes me one step closer to closure
You see her sitting there with a smile on her face. She wanted to see you. She was so happy to see all of you. She told you she had stories to tell you about her life. She wanted to share her life with you. Her little life stories. She is not perfect. Haven't you learned that by now. You knew her before she was even born. You knew her mother. You knew her after her mother passed away. She has always been the same person. The same girl. Sensitive, loving, and always trying to please everyone. Don't tell her to change. Don't tell her what she does is useless. Don't tell her she's useless. She tries her best. So, don't make her cry. But it's too late now isn't it. She has cried. She has swollen eyes. I have cried. I have swollen eyes.
Family lunch didn't go as planned today. One good thing that did come out of it? The food. Mildly good food. There was something else I learnt today that made me a pinch bit happier.
I miss my family. I mom's side of the family. I miss them. I call them. I want to see them. I want to spend time with them. They call a family lunch. A regular family lunch. They ask the grandchildren questions about school. I, being the oldest tell them. Share my stories. Stories that bring joy to my life. They pay attention. But no sincerely good comment came out from their lips. Then comes my 10 days younger cousin. Erich. I'm sorry. I love you. You are a great cousin. But you are too much to be compared to. I do wish you weren't around sometimes but I know that's not right.
I tell them I'm class monitor. Erich is a prefect. I tell them I'm the secretary of Girl Scouts in school. Second highest post and ranking besides the two leaders. Erich is the head of the Science club. They are so proud. Of me? They pretend to be, but the looks they give him, they're priceless. He's a prize possession and I'm just the follow up. Being the oldest just makes things more difficult. I hurt and they don't even see it. Until I voice out, I hate it when my feelings have a voice of their own. I didn't even bother to tell them that I'm serving in CF cause that's what they care least about. Not my whole family are Christians. I wish they were, but they aren't. They have said that what I do for CF is pointless at times. I don't listen. I do not believe I spend too much time on my CF activities, I just talk about CF a lot because I feel so proud to part of it. Can't they see that? I guess not.
I voiced out. They pick on me. They don't mean to hurt me. Indirectly, they did. My eyes take on a mind of their own. First, they were just tears. Telling them, explaining to them that they have been looking down on me. My tears mix with sobs, I have difficulty breathing. That what I do is NOT useless. That I care about what I do. What department I serve in. I'm in the encouragement department in CF for goodness sake and I need encouraging. I feel needy. I feel like I need approval. I can't hold it in. I won't do it for you, for anybody. Let my cry. I don't need approval from my friends, from strangers. I want it from my family. The people I grew up with. The people I hug when I see them. The people who say they love me. Who tell me they'll be there for me no matter what. But I don't see them. I look around and I don't see them. They're nowhere close by. I have only my stepdad and my sister. The greatest thing that happened today involves my amazing stepfather.
He didn't say anything during my teary moment at the lunch table. But in the car on the way home. I questioned him. He answered in the most unexpected way. I can't quote his exact words but he said something like this. "Why do you listen to them? Why do you seek for other people's approval? You have to prove to them that you are not useless. They you can do great things. You have talents." I was thinking while he was speaking. "I love you. I needed to hear that from you. Mom, you married a good man. He is a great father. My sister and I are so lucky. I don't need to be Erich. I need to be me. Be who I've always been. Correct a few of my flaws if I can."
Throughout today, mom, you were on my mind. That's why it was that much harder to hold back my tears. I love you so much. I miss you so much. I'm taking a deep breath now. I want you to hold me. Silly tears are taking over again. *sniff* Watch over me like you promised mom. I will see you again mummy!
Family lunch didn't go as planned today. One good thing that did come out of it? The food. Mildly good food. There was something else I learnt today that made me a pinch bit happier.
I miss my family. I mom's side of the family. I miss them. I call them. I want to see them. I want to spend time with them. They call a family lunch. A regular family lunch. They ask the grandchildren questions about school. I, being the oldest tell them. Share my stories. Stories that bring joy to my life. They pay attention. But no sincerely good comment came out from their lips. Then comes my 10 days younger cousin. Erich. I'm sorry. I love you. You are a great cousin. But you are too much to be compared to. I do wish you weren't around sometimes but I know that's not right.
I tell them I'm class monitor. Erich is a prefect. I tell them I'm the secretary of Girl Scouts in school. Second highest post and ranking besides the two leaders. Erich is the head of the Science club. They are so proud. Of me? They pretend to be, but the looks they give him, they're priceless. He's a prize possession and I'm just the follow up. Being the oldest just makes things more difficult. I hurt and they don't even see it. Until I voice out, I hate it when my feelings have a voice of their own. I didn't even bother to tell them that I'm serving in CF cause that's what they care least about. Not my whole family are Christians. I wish they were, but they aren't. They have said that what I do for CF is pointless at times. I don't listen. I do not believe I spend too much time on my CF activities, I just talk about CF a lot because I feel so proud to part of it. Can't they see that? I guess not.
I voiced out. They pick on me. They don't mean to hurt me. Indirectly, they did. My eyes take on a mind of their own. First, they were just tears. Telling them, explaining to them that they have been looking down on me. My tears mix with sobs, I have difficulty breathing. That what I do is NOT useless. That I care about what I do. What department I serve in. I'm in the encouragement department in CF for goodness sake and I need encouraging. I feel needy. I feel like I need approval. I can't hold it in. I won't do it for you, for anybody. Let my cry. I don't need approval from my friends, from strangers. I want it from my family. The people I grew up with. The people I hug when I see them. The people who say they love me. Who tell me they'll be there for me no matter what. But I don't see them. I look around and I don't see them. They're nowhere close by. I have only my stepdad and my sister. The greatest thing that happened today involves my amazing stepfather.
He didn't say anything during my teary moment at the lunch table. But in the car on the way home. I questioned him. He answered in the most unexpected way. I can't quote his exact words but he said something like this. "Why do you listen to them? Why do you seek for other people's approval? You have to prove to them that you are not useless. They you can do great things. You have talents." I was thinking while he was speaking. "I love you. I needed to hear that from you. Mom, you married a good man. He is a great father. My sister and I are so lucky. I don't need to be Erich. I need to be me. Be who I've always been. Correct a few of my flaws if I can."
Throughout today, mom, you were on my mind. That's why it was that much harder to hold back my tears. I love you so much. I miss you so much. I'm taking a deep breath now. I want you to hold me. Silly tears are taking over again. *sniff* Watch over me like you promised mom. I will see you again mummy!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
You knew it, didn't you?
WeeHee!! You knew it mom, didn't you. Long before I knew I would like being in an arts class. Love you mom! I'm staying, even if the rest of my class wants to plead their case to go to Science. I wanted to do the same, but for all the wrong reasons. One week was enough for me to see that I belong here. And as the naib pengerusi pula. First time ever to be lantik! Could've been Pengerusi, but who wants that? *cough, yiqian, cough* Thank you qian:) Guys should be in charge anyway. Running around, losing wait, not that he has any wait to lose. I have more fats than he does. :p
I'm so glad I get to see most of my friends during recess, at Prayer Meeting!! And sometimes, if I'm lucky, Rayshell will drop by my class and we'll have a good time talking. Sadly, morning prayers have been canceled but who says we can't pray on our own? After school is a good time to catch up with friends too. Eg, Brenda, Andrew, Sean, Yiqian, Hanjiang, JasonWee, Tzekwang... Btw, big man says Hi. So nothing is as bad as I thought it would be. I did feel a little bit down on Friday. Mainly because quite a few number of classmates were offered science classes and they just up and took it. When they never even signed up for it in the first place. There are even more classmates that want to leave but haven't qualified yet for the classes. And when they go, I might be in an even larger social stigma than I was in before. But that's alright. I see that now.
I was mostly upset on the day because all the students were going on and on about how they have to discuss things over with their parents. When I heard that, it registered in me that I have no one to discuss this with. Not a parent I mean. I can discuss with my aunt, my uncles, my teachers, but not a mom or a dad. My stepdad's great, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to making decisions like these, it's all up to me. I chose to ask God about it and I strongly believe that I belong in arts. Pure arts. With additional mathematics, accounts and economics. Theses 3 subjects are fairly good for a good career booster. Pure arts doesn't mean I take any arts subjects though.
I am sharing lockers with yifen and brenda. 2 lockers for the 3 of us. We pray we get the green or the white ones. It would be so much more convenient for us. This locker installation is new this year. 200 lockers on a first come first serve basis. Hopefully we get them. Fingers crossed. My accounts textbook is huge! Right yifen? ;)
Resolutions are going fine so far. Let's look at some of the bad news we've gotten this year. TZE YI!!! Why are you leaving all of us for Australia?? Like not enough people have left already. Elaine's leaving too. :( I'm not leaving, yet. Not in many years to come. Do you want me to stay? hehe. Say yes or I'm going!! Just joking.
My family and I are coping just fine. But it's only the first week, not sure how well we'll be in another few weeks time. Keep praying. I know mom's watching us from above. Every move we make doesn't go unseen. Right, mom?
I'm looking forward to CF Camp so bad!! The dates are engraved into my skull. It's going to be unforgettable! Thank you for letting me serve in CF and CF camp guys! I'm so happy to be part of something so special. It'll be the event of the year. After the dreaded first terms.
Distractions haven't been a problem for us girls lately, chocolate's been a big part of our live this week. From gelato to twix, to boosts, to dove, to top, to mikybars. We can't seem to get enough. I'm not a big fan of chocolate but when necessary, I'll make an exceptance. Now, listen closely papa, I want jogging shoes for my sixteenth birthday!! Haha. Chocolate can cure you from cucumbers and carrots. And on occasion dance. (This, not all of you are supposed to understand;))
I have got to do the last of my first weeks homework. And tuition homework. Ahhh Add Maths!! Mr's D, you're getting ready for SPM wayyy too soon!
I'm so glad I get to see most of my friends during recess, at Prayer Meeting!! And sometimes, if I'm lucky, Rayshell will drop by my class and we'll have a good time talking. Sadly, morning prayers have been canceled but who says we can't pray on our own? After school is a good time to catch up with friends too. Eg, Brenda, Andrew, Sean, Yiqian, Hanjiang, JasonWee, Tzekwang... Btw, big man says Hi. So nothing is as bad as I thought it would be. I did feel a little bit down on Friday. Mainly because quite a few number of classmates were offered science classes and they just up and took it. When they never even signed up for it in the first place. There are even more classmates that want to leave but haven't qualified yet for the classes. And when they go, I might be in an even larger social stigma than I was in before. But that's alright. I see that now.
I was mostly upset on the day because all the students were going on and on about how they have to discuss things over with their parents. When I heard that, it registered in me that I have no one to discuss this with. Not a parent I mean. I can discuss with my aunt, my uncles, my teachers, but not a mom or a dad. My stepdad's great, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to making decisions like these, it's all up to me. I chose to ask God about it and I strongly believe that I belong in arts. Pure arts. With additional mathematics, accounts and economics. Theses 3 subjects are fairly good for a good career booster. Pure arts doesn't mean I take any arts subjects though.
I am sharing lockers with yifen and brenda. 2 lockers for the 3 of us. We pray we get the green or the white ones. It would be so much more convenient for us. This locker installation is new this year. 200 lockers on a first come first serve basis. Hopefully we get them. Fingers crossed. My accounts textbook is huge! Right yifen? ;)
Resolutions are going fine so far. Let's look at some of the bad news we've gotten this year. TZE YI!!! Why are you leaving all of us for Australia?? Like not enough people have left already. Elaine's leaving too. :( I'm not leaving, yet. Not in many years to come. Do you want me to stay? hehe. Say yes or I'm going!! Just joking.
My family and I are coping just fine. But it's only the first week, not sure how well we'll be in another few weeks time. Keep praying. I know mom's watching us from above. Every move we make doesn't go unseen. Right, mom?
I'm looking forward to CF Camp so bad!! The dates are engraved into my skull. It's going to be unforgettable! Thank you for letting me serve in CF and CF camp guys! I'm so happy to be part of something so special. It'll be the event of the year. After the dreaded first terms.
Distractions haven't been a problem for us girls lately, chocolate's been a big part of our live this week. From gelato to twix, to boosts, to dove, to top, to mikybars. We can't seem to get enough. I'm not a big fan of chocolate but when necessary, I'll make an exceptance. Now, listen closely papa, I want jogging shoes for my sixteenth birthday!! Haha. Chocolate can cure you from cucumbers and carrots. And on occasion dance. (This, not all of you are supposed to understand;))
I have got to do the last of my first weeks homework. And tuition homework. Ahhh Add Maths!! Mr's D, you're getting ready for SPM wayyy too soon!
Friday, December 31, 2010
I'm never alone, and neither are all of you;)
I am terrible at maintaining my own blog. My anonymous writer is doing a better job than I am. I just thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you more about her and also inform you of what I may be posting about next year. Hehe:)
First of all, 'aw'(anonymous writer) is an amazing girl. I see her as more of a sister than a friend. We're closer than I ever thought we could be. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She is a true blessing from God. She's talented. Full stop. She has multiple talents. I can only name a few, to keep her identity a secret;) If that's what she wants, I'm going to give her that, until the day she's ready to show herself. She can not only write but she's also a talented pianist. That's all I can say, but believe me when I say that there's more to her than just these 2 talents. She is a hardworking student and she has a lot of patience. *Especially when it comes to me* She can listen to me go on and on about my life and advices me repeatedly. I hope I'm able to return the favors she's done for me in the future.
AW and I have not always seen eye to eye. We weren't always this close, despite knowing each other for almost 3 years. I wish I'd seen how great a friendship we could have had so long ago. I am glad we are friends now.
Mom, you know who I'm talking about;) I know you would've loved her:)
Okay, although I'm not as good a writer as AW, but I owe it to my readers/friends to write my own stuff. I write mostly about my family and friends. What I do during my free time and the silly random moments I experience with my friends and family. I want to learn to write as well as AW, she promised to coach me;) besides, other things she promised to help me with. She also promised that she'll keep me grounded especially when it comes to my studies, seeing I only achieved 3 As for PMR. Yes, I'm not proud of it and I know I didn't try my absolute best but I will try my best next year. I promise you. SPM is a crucial exam after all.
I thought I'd try my hand at writing stories but I'm afraid I won't be as good a writer as AW. She amazes me as well as all of you reading right now.
This year has been a tough year for me. There is a huge difference in my life this year and last year. Last year, I found myself to be mixing with the wrong friends and doing things that I'm not proud of. I don't regret though, cause I've learnt a lot from those mistakes. This year has not been easy, I know, but it's also been my best year yet!! I've learnt more life lessons that I bargained for. I have the best friends a girl could ask for, and I've involved myself in extra curricular activities I'm proud to say I'm a part of. Being a part of the CF committee just makes me smile. Knowing I'm able to serve God in my school, WOW, now that's something to be happy about:) I know I also have to reach out to friends and family outside my school, and I will not forget that. I will definitely do my best.
I guess that's my resolution for the year 2011. Without knowing what I was writing, I've just listed all my new year resolutions. I never make a big deal out of them. But I think it's good to have a few small goals to reach for when starting a new year. Do better in school. *Have AW tutor me if I fail to catch up* Bond with my family and friends. Serve God in and out of school. Learn to write better. *I'm taking a creative writing class next year, I think, not confirmed* Oh, and one more. And this is for my girlfriends(Rayshell, Yifen, Brenda) out there. They know what it is before I even say it. We're not going to involve ourselves with boyfriends until we're at least 18. And to do that, we're staying away from platonic relationships. Look it up, I'm not going to repeat the talk we had with a facilitator at PJEFC. More than one. And for more than 2 hours. It was a good and productive talk, don't get me wrong, and we definitely benefited from it. I'm all for it, and so are my friends:)
Those are my resolutions. Hehe:) Here I come year 2011. I am not afraid. I have never been. With God by my side, I'm never alone, and neither are all of you;)
First of all, 'aw'(anonymous writer) is an amazing girl. I see her as more of a sister than a friend. We're closer than I ever thought we could be. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She is a true blessing from God. She's talented. Full stop. She has multiple talents. I can only name a few, to keep her identity a secret;) If that's what she wants, I'm going to give her that, until the day she's ready to show herself. She can not only write but she's also a talented pianist. That's all I can say, but believe me when I say that there's more to her than just these 2 talents. She is a hardworking student and she has a lot of patience. *Especially when it comes to me* She can listen to me go on and on about my life and advices me repeatedly. I hope I'm able to return the favors she's done for me in the future.
AW and I have not always seen eye to eye. We weren't always this close, despite knowing each other for almost 3 years. I wish I'd seen how great a friendship we could have had so long ago. I am glad we are friends now.
Mom, you know who I'm talking about;) I know you would've loved her:)
Okay, although I'm not as good a writer as AW, but I owe it to my readers/friends to write my own stuff. I write mostly about my family and friends. What I do during my free time and the silly random moments I experience with my friends and family. I want to learn to write as well as AW, she promised to coach me;) besides, other things she promised to help me with. She also promised that she'll keep me grounded especially when it comes to my studies, seeing I only achieved 3 As for PMR. Yes, I'm not proud of it and I know I didn't try my absolute best but I will try my best next year. I promise you. SPM is a crucial exam after all.
I thought I'd try my hand at writing stories but I'm afraid I won't be as good a writer as AW. She amazes me as well as all of you reading right now.
This year has been a tough year for me. There is a huge difference in my life this year and last year. Last year, I found myself to be mixing with the wrong friends and doing things that I'm not proud of. I don't regret though, cause I've learnt a lot from those mistakes. This year has not been easy, I know, but it's also been my best year yet!! I've learnt more life lessons that I bargained for. I have the best friends a girl could ask for, and I've involved myself in extra curricular activities I'm proud to say I'm a part of. Being a part of the CF committee just makes me smile. Knowing I'm able to serve God in my school, WOW, now that's something to be happy about:) I know I also have to reach out to friends and family outside my school, and I will not forget that. I will definitely do my best.
I guess that's my resolution for the year 2011. Without knowing what I was writing, I've just listed all my new year resolutions. I never make a big deal out of them. But I think it's good to have a few small goals to reach for when starting a new year. Do better in school. *Have AW tutor me if I fail to catch up* Bond with my family and friends. Serve God in and out of school. Learn to write better. *I'm taking a creative writing class next year, I think, not confirmed* Oh, and one more. And this is for my girlfriends(Rayshell, Yifen, Brenda) out there. They know what it is before I even say it. We're not going to involve ourselves with boyfriends until we're at least 18. And to do that, we're staying away from platonic relationships. Look it up, I'm not going to repeat the talk we had with a facilitator at PJEFC. More than one. And for more than 2 hours. It was a good and productive talk, don't get me wrong, and we definitely benefited from it. I'm all for it, and so are my friends:)
Those are my resolutions. Hehe:) Here I come year 2011. I am not afraid. I have never been. With God by my side, I'm never alone, and neither are all of you;)
Friday, December 24, 2010
O Holy Night
I retrieved my hand phone from my right jeans pocket hoping to have received a miscall or at least a message. I stared at my Christmas themed wall paper only to find it staring back blankly at me as if to say, “What? Were you really expecting something from him?” My face fell, disappointment pressed onto every inch of it as I stuffed the phone back into my pocket. I strolled past yet another group of carolers and finally stopped in my tracks, enthralled by the unison and the harmony of their voices as they broke into a song. I shut my eyes and took in a long deep breath of the chilled seasonal breeze, soaking in the familiar Christmas tune sung in 4 part harmony as if it would be of any comfort to the stinging pain in my heart. Surprisingly, it did, momentarily. My face became a picture of concentration as I tried my best to hang on to that feeling; that feeling of hope. Humming along to the chorus, I could feel the hurt magically peel away layer by layer, each line of the song conjuring up the past which I have yet to let go of. They jump up at me like snapshots, each click a painful memory.
A Thrill of Hope, The Weary Soul Rejoices. For Yonder Breaks, A New and Glorious Morn.
Click. Mom, dad and I, a happy family. Click. We’re decorating the Christmas tree. Mom and dad look at each other with so much love and joy in their eyes. Click. Mom and dad fight. Click. Dad comes home late. Click. He’s drunk again. I can tell from the way he’s unable to enunciate his words clearly. Click. Mom brings home a new guy she met at work. He has eyes, the green of the clear ocean, an aquiline nose, a set of straight teeth and not to mention his vast knowledge in the field of culinary arts. He is the paragon of Mr. Perfect, which woman in her right mind would choose to let him go? Click. Mom and dad sign the divorce papers and I never saw dad again after that. Although I am glad that mom is finally happy, I still long for us to be a family again. Black eyed peas, I second you, where on earth IS the love?
Fall on Your Knees, O Hear the Angel’s Voice. O Night, Divine, O Night, When Christ Was Born.
Click. I hear the booming sound of sirens. It’s coming from an ambulance. Click. It’s heading towards the hospital from my best friend, Lily’s place. Click. I rush to the hospital. Click. I see her parents. Their faces knitted with the worry that their daughter wouldn’t survive the asthma attack. Click. A doctor emerges from an operating room and heads towards her parents. Their eyes are round circles of alarm and their cheeks are hollowed out with fear as the doctor delivers the life wrecking news to them. Click. The words “passed away” battered in our ears, pounded in our heads and drummed in our throats. Click. Her mom breaks down. The grey sullen sky outside seems to fit our dismal thoughts. Click. Hot tears blur my vision and trickle down my face as I reminisce the many good times we shared. Now all of it is but a distant memory. Why do the good die young?
O Night, Divine. O Night, O Night Divine.
Click. It’s Alex. Click. I watch him walk towards me from a distance. He completes the autumn sun set scenery that is displayed before me. Click. He’s got a mop of curly brown hair, deep maroon of mahogany eyes that dances when he talks, a cheeky smile that reveals his perfect teeth, soft lines at his jaw and a rugged physique. All in all, he has strong but striking features and an air of inquisitiveness he inherits from his father. Click. I welcome him with a loving embrace and he responds with a kiss that sends tingles down my spine. Click. He’s happy, I’m happy, we’re happy. Or so I thought. Click. I catch him flirting with another girl. Click. She gets into his car and they drive off into the night. Click. I call him up for the millionth time, but it goes straight to his voice mail. I sink into my couch and balled my eyes out to sleep. Splendid, just when I thought things were perfect. Click. I’m having breakfast at my favourite restaurant. I see him. Click. Our eyes meet. My body rigid with anger, my face full of rage and my eyes, on fire. Click. I pull out the ring he had given to me on our 1 year anniversary and slam it on the table. Click. I storm out. My complexion was now the colour of whey, my eyes, duller and troubled, every muscle and sinew tense by anger. Click. I cry again.
Just as the song comes to an end, the clock strikes 12 and fireworks shoot into the night sky to commemorate the birth of the little baby Jesus. They paint the dull sky with such fluorescent colours; I couldn’t help but stand amaze at the multi-coloured sky. I imagine each firework being one of my troubles. I imagine them being lifted into the sky and bursting to show their true colour. For the first time in a long time, I say a silent prayer and smile as the weight from my shoulders dissipate into thin air. Suddenly, my phone vibrates. I check the screen and feel a tear ooze out from the corner of my eye. “O holy night, indeed”, I manage to chuckle before I answer the call airily.
“Merry Christmas, dad! It’s about time you called…”
***
I'm helping my friend once again. She's quite the writer, don't you think. I'm really happy to help her out :) Give her your critisism and comments, please? She wants to improve and she can't do it without you. Thanks :D
Thursday, December 2, 2010
New look
I thought this would be fun. Hehe:) My aunt took some pics of me after my slight transformation. Just a short post to show you:)
My sis had a small transformation herself...
Mom, I hope you can see at least a bit of yourself in me. I'd really like that. Look at it this way, I never wanted to do anything with hair but perm it a little. I never want to colour it, highlight it, or straighten it. But I do like curls, and I know for a fact that you liked them too:)
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