I'm cool

I don't think I'm giving anything away. If it was obvious, somebody may have said something to me by now. Or maybe not everybody is that gutsy. I don't expect them to be. I hope I have it in me to hold back. With the way I speak, the way I act. I just can't let my walls down when it comes to you. If you knew me better, you'd understand why...

I want to tell you, but I don't think that'd be fair to you or myself. Just believe me when I say I'm not perfect in many ways. My faults and flaws are uncountable. I want you to open up to me before I open up to you. You know why? Because in the past, my opening up has led to a level of vulnerability I dare not relive. My realization was a little too late. I have been taken advantage of.

Some of my friends said I should toughen up and not be so nice. I shouldn't let people climb all over me. I don't believe I do. Do I? I'd like to believe I know how to defend myself when it comes down to it, but maybe I don't. I wouldn't mind if you stood up for me one day, that'd just make me smile:)

I'm being as cool as possible. There's not a lot of 'cool' in me, but I'm going to try. I really don't wish to give anything away. You should know by now what it is that is bugging me so much. My blog is already an open book for everyone to read. You can read it, I'm just not sure that you do.

What do I want? I don't know exactly. When I feel like I'm getting there though, I'll let you know;) Just keep being yourself. I think that's what I like most about you as a person. I'm not saying that I have a crush on you, but I am saying that I'm not gonna act spontaneously anymore. It's your turn to make a move. Whoever you are. Try and catch my heart;) Or just catch me. I'm ready to be caught...