Those were the words I said to Nathan as I got off his motorbike and removed my helmet. He took the helmet from my hands and placed it back neatly in his bike compartment. I watched his every movement then, unable to tear my eyes away. He looked me in the eyes and nodded, showing me that he understood. Half perched on his bike, he leaned in and gave me a warm hug, the smell of his leather jacket flooding my senses. It was the smell of him. "I would do anything for you. Anything." His whisper so close to my ear, it gave me chills. When we finally let go of one another, it took Nate only 5 more seconds to re-position himself on his bike and ride away into the night.
I wasn't asking Nate to lie for me. It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. My father trusts Nate. We have been best friends for 3 years now, and my father knows him almost as well as I do. Almost... As best friends, there were bound to be secrets only the 2 of us shared. This secret was just bigger than any other. Nate is a boy who rides. No, not the bad boy-too cool to care kind. But even though Nate rode a motorbike, there was this special quality about him that just made parents trust him. Parent, in my case. It wasn't just his charm, it was everything about him. I may have taken advantage of my father's trust, but bringing Nate to meet my mother was crucial for me, and on that day.. he did.
On February 26, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock beeping. 8am. I opened my curtains to find the sun shining like any other ordinary day in Malaysia, but this day was no ordinary day for me. This day, I was a girl on a mission. I went through my morning and afternoon routine like I did every Saturday. I attended my extra Creative Writing and Public Speaking classes down town and helped my sister with her homework. After that, I just had to wait for my phone to ring and my mission would be a go. My dad would be working all day as usual. After dropping me off at home when my classes were done, it was back to the office for him. I had already informed my maid to look after my sister while I went out and that I'd be back later that evening before my father got home.
My phone rang and stopped, that was the signal that told me Nate was outside, waiting for me. I kissed my sister goodbye and told her I'd be back before she knew it. My ten-year-old sister looked up at me and nodded, saying "Love you! Bye." I grabbed the house keys and my phone and headed out. It didn't take long for me to spot Nate leaning against his beautiful ER6n under the hot sun. A smile appeared on his lips as he looked up and saw me approaching. It took me some time to realize that I was smiling too.
"Ready to go?" he said as he handed me the extra helmet.
"As ready as you are to meet her," I replied. He knew exactly what I meant.
Before I knew it, I could feel the wind against parts of my face that went uncovered by the helmet. I could also feel the breeze in my long, wavy hair. But most of all, I could feel Nate's back against my front as I held on to him tightly. I always wondered if he could feel my heartbeat when we were pressed up against each other this close. If only he knew the extent of my feelings for him.
It took exactly an hour for us to reach our destination. Nilai Cemetery. It was my mother's birthday. I visited my mother's grave with my family every once a year, on her death anniversary. To me, that was never enough. On this day, I decided to take the risk, along with Nate to come down here and visit her. But I wasn't doing this just cause it was her birthday, I had an ulterior motive that even Nate didn't know of. That was another risk I was willing to take.
We got off the bike and removed our helmets. I knew the moment had come for me to be brave and say what I needed Nate to hear. Moment of truth. Nate turned to face me, as if reading my mind. I looked in his eyes and hoped for understanding.
"I don't want to be your best friend anymore." I searched his eyes then.
He remained silent, his expression urging me to go on.
"You mean more to me than just that. I've loved you ever since we became best friends. Telling you sooner always seemed like a bad idea because it could possibly cost us our friendship. You know why I brought you here today, to meet my mother, but there's something else you need to know. I'm not gonna introduce you to my mother as my best friend, but as the boy I fell in love with at the age of fifteen."
Nate just stared at me then. Was that sympathy I saw in his eyes? I unconsciously took a step forward and searched his eyes. I then saw understanding mixed with amusement. He said this to me, "How about you introduce me as your best friend AND the boy you're in love with?" I couldn't stop staring at his upturned lips. A smile to die for. We were close enough now that he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me a little before pulling me in for a full-on hug. He kissed the top of my head and whispered, "I love you too, you silly girl. I always have. Don't you know that by now. You're my own personal angel and I really wouldn't know what I'd do without you. You are the only girl I have ever loved."
That day, my mother met Nathan. I didn't get in trouble with my father and my family never bothered to find out where I went or what I did that evening. It is a secret that Nate and I will forever keep sacred, just between the 2 of us. Now, I can only pray that my mother approves of him... But knowing her, she has already fallen for his charm and good looks. Looking down on me from above, I know she also sees how well he protects me. He is my own personal guardian angel, and I'm so glad he has met my mother.
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